The power to push a door that only pulls.

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the power to in power your self

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The power to make a child in Africa die of starvation every time you sneeze

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the power to teleport to the bottom of the ocean at will

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Being able to create duplicates of yourself, however you must give birth to these duplicates out of your anus (incredibly painful and its highly likely that you will pass out from the pain). And to disappear they must claw their way back up.

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the power to have a pointless superpower

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The power to ressurect anyone alive by killing them first. Works only 10 percent of the time...

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Nipple Radar.

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The power to bring life to nobody, except Winston Chrurchil.

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The power to have all the powers of all the superheroes, but only on February 30th.

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The power to hate/love/care about me because of who I am. Moral: Relax dear friends (you other fools relax too) I was born this way, and I love every second of it, I am on fire and this workout gives me so damn much pheromones and testosterone that I am gonna invite a cute friend and have a damn threesome! Why, because its a mans world... never forget that kids...

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The power to not move but your always happy.

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The power to like this power

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The ability to read Captch codes perfectly but not being able to type them correctly

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The power to laugh at Tyler Perry's House of Payne.

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The power to make cheeseburgers only when your tummy is full.

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the power to turn into a fish that is less then one mm small while only on land

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The power to change your eye color.

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They power to be able to make meth.

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The power to shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane.

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The power to not get crushed, only if you're in contact with something.

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Being alive (until you die).

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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The ability to levitate birds

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!