The power to continuously and periodically turn oxygen into carbon dioxide using magic organs in your chest by sucking the the atmosphere through your mouth.

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The power to make anything into toilet paper.

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The power to wet yourself at will.

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The power to summon tastebuds in your asshole, but cannot be undone within 24 hours.

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The power to have magnetic eyeballs.

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the power to make a pillow filled with feathers into a pillow filled with fluff

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The power to communicate with applesauce.

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The power to be distracted with grea

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The power to buy "I cant believe its not butter" and turn the damn thing into real butter.

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The power to pickpocket anyone, but only if you intend to place something more valuable/useful into their pockets to replace what you've taken

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The power to ejaculate lazer beams...

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the power to make your best friend's crush fall in love with you, but not your own crush.

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the power to lower my blood presure to dangerous levels

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The power to understand a joke 30 seconds later after the last person in the group did it.

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The ability to instantly friendzone yourself.

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The power to see into the future and past but not remember any of it.

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Read fortune cookies without opening them

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The power to give the wrong directions

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The power to be invulnerable to any type of bullets except lead and copper.

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The power to ride a bike

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The power to jump faster.

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The power to fly, but only in microgravity.

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The power too shot seeds IF you are not alive

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shit and piss at the same time

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!