The power to jump 3% higher than the average human,

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Being able to not go to the bathroom...when you have to!

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The power to shoot sperm out of your eyes

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The power to make cats burp.

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The power to summon Wolverine, but only so he can give you a colonoscopy.

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Moral man. Moral: I have self irony... which isn't a superpower... neither is being me... But its at least Super pointless and I have the power to do this... SO CLOSE! SO DAMN CLOSE! :(

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The power to expel a single spaghetti from any limb randomly

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the power to herd cats

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The power to make really bad jokes: knock knock who's there chicken chicken who no thats an owl not a chicken, you goose!

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The ability to read braile.

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the power to never be able to draw a straight line with a ruler

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The power to die when you die

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The power to re-click a webpage over and over as long as it won't load

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The power to peel a banana with your foreskin

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The power to hurt your enemies but feel their pain

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The power to shoot your teeth at the force of a Nerf gun.

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The ability to have laser eyes only when your eyes are closed, you'd kill everyone in your sleep!

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The power to sexually attract whales

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The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

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The power to change lemonade into lemons.

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The power to become the best player in every Moral Kombat game there is. Test your Morals... TSHHH, test your morals TSHHH MORAL KOMBAT! Mortal: FEAR THE WRATH OF MORAL KAHN!

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The power to become a llama.

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the power to make an earthquake that an ant can not even feel

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The power to be an exceedingly homosexual man and be constantly surrounded by sexy women.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!