The power to shit whole balogna sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The ability to catch bullets traveling under 5 mph

thumb_up thumb_down +23

the power to fly two inches above solid ground at the speed you walk

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The power to dance really well

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Power to freeze your self in time but everyone else can move, but you cant

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The power to find the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

the ability to walk barefooted on top of legos without pain but only as long as you don't know they're legos

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The ability to know everything and get anything you want, but you must poop out a poop the size of a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The power to teleport to the last place you shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The ability to transform yourself in to a vibrator that is about to be used. Only works if you are gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The ability to talk to snakes but only if you have a lightning bolt scar on your forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The power to transform into an ant, but only on busy pavements in the after work rush.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Immunity to antipsychotic medication

thumb_up thumb_down -21

The power to glow in rooms with reddish purple walls

thumb_up thumb_down -23

The power to grow one inch, but you need to shrink one inch to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

The ability to not have an ability (The ability to be a paradox)

thumb_up thumb_down +110

The power to emit contagious yawns.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

The power of X-ray Viion, that gives you Eye Cancer from the radiation

thumb_up thumb_down +96

the power to create your own real working money but you cannot spend it

thumb_up thumb_down +92

The power to turn a dollar into three quarters.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

The power to have wood when you wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

The power to party like it is 1999 despite it being 2011

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!