The power to have wood when you wake up.

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The power to party like it is 1999 despite it being 2011

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The power to defuse bombs without touching them, but you have to be within 3 inches of it.

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The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

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To get to know everything Jack Nicholson has said yet you blurb out his comments and random and by the time you face this YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: You think this entry was boring? It is great actually, what? You say it sucks? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The power to turn into a sloth at random times.

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The ability to like this post

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The power to have ABSOLUTELY anything you want!... ...As long as that absolutely anything you want happens to be a pile of premium fresh horsecrap... Moral: This made myself lol, so it probably has 16 red thumbs by now YAY!!!!!!!!

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The ability to make up a new part of Pokemon, every time you sneeze.

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The power to push any muffin button, but u get no muffins

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Telekinetic power over styrofoam

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Having perfect 20-20 vision, only when wearing glasses.

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The power of having the answer to every possible question, but also to have no way of describing said answers!

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The power to pee quietly in public toilets.

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The power to have a magnetically attractive force, but only to bullets

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The power to cheat death, but only when your alive...

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The power to fall off a tree, then land in spikes.

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The ability to catch bullets traveling under 5 mph

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The power to have logs come out a tiny hole in your body. Oh wait... - SMC Digital

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The power to dance really well

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The power to absorb your hair into your body and the burp up a bottle of shampoo and you have to do this once a day or your eyes and ears and mouth and nose will liquify for a day.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The ability to know everything and get anything you want, but you must poop out a poop the size of a horse.

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the power to vote

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!