the power to go on this website

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The power to speak brail.

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The power to understand the purpose of life, and every other world mystery, exactly .5 of a second before you die.

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The power to abstain from sex until you're married. At age 83.

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the power to cure someones cold by giving them AIDs

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The ability to open your window, and shout retarded things at your neighbors. "HEY! MY ASH SMELLS LIKE BANANAS!"

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the power to have diarrhea at any time

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The ability to sense any and all ham in a five mile radius.

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The power to take in air into your lungs through your nose

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The power to see through windows

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The ability to have every possible thought as fast as the Flash is capable of moving and faster and know how every scenario can, will, and most likely will play out, yet you cannot say anything about them and they cannot be put to use. As well as no one can read your mind or anything similar to obtain said knowledge.

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The power to be able to get a key for a door on that does not even exist every 6 weeks

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the power to turn on anything by saying every digit of pi near it.

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The power to watch a pot boil.

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The power to listen to justin beiber

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the power to twerk as good as miley cyrus

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The power to fly when you fart

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The power of speaking every laguage on earth, but to know only one word in your entire life.

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The power of getting a boner, but only when your mother is near...

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The power to say something only when you have a mouth

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The power to be dead

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the power to fail

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To be able to turn into any molusk when in a lava pit

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The power to issue commands to domesticated house cats. Not the power to make them obey your commands, just the power to issue the commands.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!