the power to do sit on your couch all day

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The power to change your eye colour but you are the only one who can see the difference.

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The power to talk to animals and plants, but only to have really boring conversations with them.

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The ability to see through blind peoples eyes

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Wait this isn't pornhub!?

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the power to seduce hats

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The power to post hundreds of pointless superpowers in minutes. Moral: It is always fun to see another person`s comment between mine with zero thumbs, while mine always keep the excellent two thumb quality! Lesser man would say thank you... I say you are welcome everybody ;) (A moral man original, because someone needs the balls of steel required to see things how they really are)

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Being able to create duplicates of yourself, however you must give birth to these duplicates out of your anus (incredibly painful and its highly likely that you will pass out from the pain). And to disappear they must claw their way back up.

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The power to hear people's thoughts when you fap

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The power to expand the size of your head and gain weak telekinesis, but you die in 3 days, the bigger you make your head, the more powerful your telekinesis but the faster you die.

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The Ability to remove your penis and grow a new one. the old penis will grow roots and become a penis tree. A lovely addition to any home.

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The power to read the bible, and then learn hypnosis, and look at the bible again... Moral: And they say hypnosis is worthless because it is just suggestions... the bible uses EVERY single trick in the book, and the bible`s teaching lead to the "holy" crusades (of kill murder and rape across the world, too many died to count), the bigotry, greater intolerance to different people, and just now (Bush before him) Obama is assuring his people that this war is "GODS WILL!" And seriously, if darkness is considered evil... then no wonder Captain America and his men did not hesitate to kill and enslave Captain Africa and his people a couple years ago... And its still going on, thanks lord (sarcasm, duh) Suggestion: Most powerful force in the universe, and it is invisible to boot... daaaang im powerful.

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The ability to turn into Chuck Norris, then get round house kicked in the face and killed by the real Chuck Norris because there can only be one Chuck Norris.

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The Power of Super Speed only when you climb a ladder

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the power to breathe under water but only when yourout of water

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The power to transform into a vegetable, but only one way

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The power to jump face first

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the power to float one atom above the ground

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The power to not be affected by bullets unless you are shot with one by a gun

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The power to make police pull over the black guy next to you (in your car) and anytime this happens you get the ticket not him

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The power to thumb ME down! Moral: Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you do-own...

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The power to produce 5 times the normal amount of ball sweat.

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The power to stop time, but only when you are waiting for something.

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The power to stop time but if you do so you will also stop.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!