The power to open a walnut with your mind

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the power to inhale and exhale air

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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You can fly, but only while on a plane that's in the air.

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The power to think salmon.

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The superpower to poo at will.

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Lactokinesis

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the power to see into the present.

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the power to control urine

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To have the ability to trip over your own "meat curtains" at will and make it look graceful... somehow.

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The power to give anyone a Kim Jong-un haircut.

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The power to fly when your touching the ground

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The power to have super speed for 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 milliseconds a century

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The power to fly when u are in an elevator

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The power to continuously and periodically turn oxygen into carbon dioxide using magic organs in your chest by sucking the the atmosphere through your mouth.

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To be able to turn into any molusk when in a lava pit

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The Power To Melt into goop when you eat Delicious food

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The power to shit brix, No wait.

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The Power to lose a fight before it begins

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The power to fall up.

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The power to talk really loud or quiet and you can control it.

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The power to transform into Osama whenever someone sees you.

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The power to be invisable but for only 5 seconds or the power to fly but only 2 feet off the ground.

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The ability to levitate birds

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!