The ability to turn into an apple--but not be able to turn back.

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The power to cry acid tears

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The ability to crap out acid once every month.

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the ability to turn kfc into popeyes

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The power to slam revolving doors.

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the ability to die once you have died

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The power to automatically attach yourself to any active fireworks.

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The power to give your wife rights

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The power to die when touching any form of light

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The power to get pulled over for going 1mph over the speed limit.

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The power to have wood when you wake up.

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the power to hear any alvin and the chipmunks song you want, but only when you have a migraine

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The power to not yawn after someone else does.

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The power to read a dictionary in under 48 hours

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The power to sleep but only when its past midnight

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The ability to obtain a date with any girl you want, but only if you are gay.

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The power to fill in ___ blank

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The power to shit yourself whenever other people are looking at you

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The power to have any power you want but only when it's completely useless to have it.

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You can send your mind and memories into your past self, but it doesn't work if you have any regrets or want to do things better.

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The power to walk on your butt cheeks

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The power to resurrect 3 percent of the time you kill yourself on purpose.

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the power two become drunk at anytime

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the power to give any goatAIDS using your penis

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!