The power to run at the speed of light, but are paralyzed from the neck down.

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The power to predict the past.

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The power to make everyone you touch see nothing but porn

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The power to turn food into shit.

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THe power to whistle from your butthole but any time you do this your penis shrinks

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The power spite flower

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The power to kill yourself when you are dead.

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the power to evenly cook a hot pocket.

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The power to be AMAZING in bed, but only when you're having sex with a midget over the age of 40.

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The power to speak with death people..

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The power to come back to life just by yelling: I LIVE AGAIN! Or RESURRECTION! (which is not easy when you are dead)

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The power to pee ants.

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The power to become invisible, but it only works when you are using it for noble and moral purposes.

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MARIAN PRICE ISN'T DEAD BUT SOME SAY SHE'S DEAD INSIDE

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The power to fly, but only when you are less than a foot off the ground.

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The powr too not bee abal too tipe

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the power to grow mustache combs from your fingernails, but lack the ability to grow facial hair

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The power to explode the entire world every time you became happy.

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the power to start a new wave band with a neon Open sign, a single bath salt, and a wet Tibetan ritz cracker.

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The ability to say Chuck Norris is just a piece of shiuiiiiiiifweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem999999999999kkkkkkkkøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøfhiihdddde AND DIE! Chuck Norris.

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the power to die 10 minutes after reading this comment

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The power to put out light from your butt

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The ability to turn traffic lights red in your lane and green for everyone else

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The power to live through torture.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!