The ability to defy death... only when you commit suicide.

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The power too be a professonal hacker but a kid could delete it.

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The ability to talk like Robert DeNiro on helium

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The ability to blow air out but only after inhaling air The ability to rapidly grow body hair whenever you sneeze The ability to post pointless super powers onto a website The ability to teleport to a dimension where you are about to be eaten during a zombie apocalypse and not be able to come back. The ability to go to prison and not be able to get out.

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The ability to open your window, and shout retarded things at your neighbors. "HEY! MY ASH SMELLS LIKE BANANAS!"

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The power to speak any language, but not understand them.

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The power to know what Erika is!

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the power to read impossibly fast, but only when you're watching a movie with no subtitles

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The power to sweat soup.

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The power to shoot a gun without bullets but only at yourself.

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7|-|3 p0\/\/3r 70 0|\|L'/ b3 4BL3 70 r34D 4|\|D \/\/r173 1|\| L337 $P34|

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The ability to be jokingly racist and not get sued by an hypocritically racist black man and end up having to carry out a minor jail sentence or pay a fine.

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The power to be -100% faster...

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the power to destroy galaxies but only when drunk or high

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The power to have the confidence to ask anyone out but always get rejected.

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The power to activate all musical instruments at full volume just by going to sleep.

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Be able to hear all the alarmclocks in the world

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The power to bend a bendy straw faster than the speed of light.

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*The power to fall, but only when you trip.

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The power to to do the boogy dance when ants go up your pants.

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the power to do something amazing, when no one's looking.

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The ability to have pockets in your skin that can only fit carrots.

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The power to watch womens basketball

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the power to self destruct without hurting people.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!