the power to see the future...but only the future of a crappy 5 houses town in the middle of nowhere..

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The power to automatically attach yourself to any active fireworks.

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The power to make your parents walk into your room whenever you're masturbating.

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The power to turn cancer into aids.

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The power to have every superpower ever (including pointless ones) for one second every full moon, then have every pointless one for the rest of the time.

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the power for men to squirt milk from their nipples

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The power to have sex with anyone, but only if they are older than 65

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To have your speed, strength, reflexes and senses heightened to the level of whatever is appropriate in your situation.

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The power to shit a blue agressive monkey.

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The power to tell time every other second. sometimes.

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the ability to fly- but only indoors

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The power to have anything EVERYTHING you DONT want.

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The power to resurrect, but only in an electric chair in Texas.

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the power of the succulent game

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You can read the minds of rocks.

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The power to harvest the cheese off your wiener.

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The power to reseal bottles!

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The power to transform money into cow eating chickens

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The power to become extremely intoxicated only during job interviews

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the ability to fly underwater.

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the power to have another pointless superpower

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The power to seduce any woman... that weighs over 300 pounds.

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The power to kill someone instantly; but you can only kill one person: yourself.

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The ability to get aids and stay a virgin.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!