The power to eat mayonnaise , but only when you do so, you become able to breath underwater for thirteen seconds!

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The power to teleport dead dogs 1 foot away from you once a month

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The ability to creat the worlds best computer but only if it doesnt work

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The power of hearing peoples conversations but only on topics related to Shrek.

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The power to have the strength of 50 old people

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for every time you get emotionally hurt part of you body actually decompose and die.

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The power to reverse gravity but only when you're outside.

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the power to engage in prostitution, unless you are a prostitute.

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The power to believe that Mac Donalds burgers look exactly like the pictures that advertise them.

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The power to lose your sense of touch and orgasm uncontrollably for five minutes.

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The power to revive people. As long as the person is alive.

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The AWESOME Power To See With Your Eyes Open

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The ability to fly a millimeter of the actual natural ground (cancelling stuff like concrete and water) or perfectly levitating; Criss Angel style

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The power to be really angry, all the time, for no actual reason.

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The power to enlarge your penis but only when you use a penis pump.

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The power to reed a platypus mind.

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The power to empty your bladder without going to the restroom but only when you really have to poop and it is trying to force its way out.

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the power to mourn the loss of loved ones

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The power to shit bombs that only go off when bitten by you.

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The power to automatically uncensor anything you want.

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The ability to sling web like Spiderman except you can only shoot webs from your butt hole.

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the power to become phil collins, but only after peter gabrial left

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The power to make people feel self confident when you encourage them

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The power to stop time whenever you get stabbed in the liver

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!