the power to start a new wave band with a neon Open sign, a single bath salt, and a wet Tibetan ritz cracker.

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The power to produce up to 20 gummy bears at once through the process of budding

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The ability to open your window, and shout retarded things at your neighbors. "HEY! MY ASH SMELLS LIKE BANANAS!"

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The ability to look directly at the sun without damaging your eyes.

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The power of confusing the word "your" for "you're", or vice versa.

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The ability to learn every single language no one else speaks.

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The power to perpetually yawn.

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The power to hit someone at the cost of your own life

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the power to die at will

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The power to make everyone you touch see nothing but porn

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The power to steal other people's pointless superpowers.

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The power to kick ass and chew bubblegum but be all out of kicks. "sits down chews bubblegum"

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*The power to fall, but only when you trip.

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The power to have sex with anyone, but only if they are older than 65

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The power spite flower

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The ability to piss lightning and be able to make people dance by wiggling your monobrow

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The power to remember your past failures and all the pain you ever received every time you close your eyes. And you have no appossable thumbs.

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The power to be born.

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The power to remotely _jizz in someone's sock

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The power to instantaneously teleport in front of your mom each time you masturbate.

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The power to kill yourself with a piece of paper.

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The ability to feel all pain 30 seconds after it happens.

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The power to agree to the "Terms of Service" without actually reading them.

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The power to tell time every other second. sometimes.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!