The ability to not fart, but only while you are alone

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The power to empty your bladder without going to the restroom but only when you really have to poop and it is trying to force its way out.

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the power to make elton john gay

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Feeling people's depression.

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the power to make people's spleen hurt for no reason

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Radiation resistance inversely proportional to the amount of radiation around you.

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The power to look TV

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The power to open a pickle jar in one try

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The power to have super-sweaty hands

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the power to change invisable when you blink

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The power to microwave bread

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the ability to draw spectacular things but only with invisible ink.

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The power to die on command

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The power to transform into yourself

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The power to be -100% faster...

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the power to always hug people

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The power to silence explosions.

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the power to turn people to stone but only if you look in the mirror

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The power to take away your power.

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The power to have the confidence to ask anyone out but always get rejected.

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The power to turn into a dogbed when somebody says micro-tacos

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The ability to fly but only for 5 seconds and when you are on an oily floor in tube socks being chased by 10 Puerto Rican woman.

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The ability to have a friend names James who dislikes all your Pointless Superpowers

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*The power to fall, but only when you trip.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!