The power to be scared shitless and run around like a retard for about 100 minutes.

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The power to believe people will vote for you`re comment, which starts WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY in the back.

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the power to see when the lights are on

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The power to understand this: Alucard: Father! I will stand against you! Dracula: Then it is time to kill your weak human side and join me in REMAKING THIS WORLD! (battle ensues Dracula takes a hell of a beating) Dracula: AAAAAAAARGHHHHHH! Heh... sarcasm... What is a man... if he gains the world, but loses his soul... limps away... Mark 8:36 I believe... Alucard: Father! I did not wish for you to die! Dracula: Uh I lost a sole, and the world is mine, already... Alucard: Well then lets keep fighting. Moral: Richter: YOU STEAL MENS SOLES! Dracula: The same could be said about every shoe shopper... Me: You are not gonna get this one, but if Dracula STEAL MENS SOULS! Then why would he have a soul to begin with? Its confusing... and the power to understand this is meaningless... BUT ENOUGH TALK YOU MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS! HAVE AT THY!

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The power to only be physically attractive to blind people.

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The power to go forward in time so you get defeated faster

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The power to believe in yourself, when you can believe in me. Moral: BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU!

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The ability to type without having to use the shift key.

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The power to order stuff online with your dad's credit card

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The power to have tacos appear in front of you, only to have them stolen by a black guy.

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The power to be instantly transported to Switzerland, naked, whenever you reach orgasm.

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The power to transform water into urine with just drinking it.

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The power to turn invisible but only when no ones around

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Smell chick peas from over two miles away

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Turn gold into lead.

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The power to read bladders. You would always know when someone has to pee.

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The power to correct spelling mistakes on road signs

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The power to get hurt every other hour

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The power to turn coleslaw into cabbage.

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The ability to fly but, if you use it, birds start flocking around you and shitting on you.

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The power to turn any traffic light and crosswalk sign from red to green but only when your eyes are closed.

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The ability to access any website you want but, you cant connection to the internet.

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The power to jump 1/3 of an inch higher than you would normally jump.

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The power to flip the world upside-down when you do a handstand.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!