The ability to kill oxygen in a radius around you

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(PS: Neo was the seventh Jesus, we live in the matrix)

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The power to make doors disappear at will.

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The power to manipulate thermometers but not actually affect the temperature.

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The power to turn any drink into pee.

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The power to stretch your tounge but it can only curve in a way that it only get inside your anus.

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The power of sensing someone's sneeze before it happens

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The power to stop reading this. Or the power to live forever but only if you never ate BACON !

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The ability to regrow 1 strand of hair every 2 years.

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The power of being able to rotate in non-rotatable chairs.

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The power to die and come back as a invincible bug that lives for 5 seconds

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The power to turn wine into water

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The power of being mysterious. Terribly mysterious. And possibly being capable of cutting guns in half with one's mind.

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The power to teleport, but you will be just as tired as if you had walked there and it would take the same amount of time to get there.

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The power to sweat blood uncontrollably out of your anus while singing to Justin Beiber and stabbing yourself in the dick with a machete

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The power to not get caught typing this in lesson.

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the power to turn star wars figurines into sticky notes, only on sunday afternoons

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the power to hear any alvin and the chipmunks song you want, but only when you have a migraine

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the power to get blood clots

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The power to run at the speed of light, but are paralyzed from the neck down.

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The power to explode or fly at mach 10, but those powers can activate involuntarily, without warning

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The power to shapeshift into a worm.

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The Power So That Every Time You Fart You Jump A Inch Higher For A Second.

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The power to make any woman have volcanic earth.shattering orgasms but only if she's having sex with another man

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!