The ability to turn door knobs with your feet every other even day.

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The power to spend your life doing things that are totally pointless

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The powers to know every martial art ever when your neck is broken.

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The uncontrollable power to teleport to the places you don't want to be and every time this happens... a random fat guy barfs on you

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You can read the minds of rocks.

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North Korea's Nuclear missile program.

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The power to fart and smell like shit and not be shit.

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The ability to enter a coma but not be able to control for how long

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Asexual reproduction.

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The power to shape-shift into a chair, but only a chair

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The power to eavesdrop on your best friend from anywhere in the world when he's sleeping.

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The ability to get aids and stay a virgin.

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The ability to turn an airplane into a smart car, but only while they're full and in flight.

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The power to wipe ur ass without the need of toilet paper

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the power to always hug people

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The power to be Justin Bieber and be cool at the same time

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the power to read 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 books every second

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The power to be buried at sea

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The power to have every superpower ever (including pointless ones) for one second every full moon, then have every pointless one for the rest of the time.

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The power to shit brix

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The power to survive a car crash only if it's between 9 and 9.30 am.

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The power to withstand camel rape.

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Be able to hear all the alarmclocks in the world

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The power to burn ashes

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!