The power to think of hilarious intensely racist jokes, but only at Black Lives Matter protests.

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The ability to dislike on any form of social media, but only if you are looking cross-eyed at your pinky finger while listening to a mashup of Justin Beiber and One Direction.

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The power to read a book in 2 seconds but forget everything but the title.

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The Power to make Anyone's Teeth Clean...

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The ability to go poop and pee.

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the power to shoot superman

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The power to achieve world peace but only at the expense of your own happiness and the lives of all your friends and family members and everyone will hate you for no reason after doing so.

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the power to watch reruns of NBC's "Joey" in your head

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The power to give ANY girl the best orgasm she will ever have, but only when in Vatnajökulsþjóðgarður, Iceland. Between the local time of 3am-3:15am.

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the power to be powerless

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The power to hide your identity from anyone... who doesn't know who you are.

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The power to turn Justin Bieber into a Man.

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The power to chuck dead babies from a bridge

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the ability to turn kfc into popeyes

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The ability to find any lost pennies, as long as you're Jewish

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The power to give yourself a sinus infection

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The ability to give yourself brain cancer at will

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The ability to be a jewish, homosexual, black crossdresser in Louisiana.

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The ability to eat Oreos and not have diarrhea after.

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The superpower to read a 2 pages of a book at once. Never mind... This is the BEST superpower in the world! [Insert troll face here]

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The power to blink your eyelids in Morse Code

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The power to get pulled over for going 1mph over the speed limit.

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The power to glow in the dark but only when your really sleepy.

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The power to remember memories that you have forgotten, but only for 82 milliseconds, and then you forget them again.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!