the power to eject into the sky only when you dont have a parachute

thumb_up thumb_down +116

The ability to eat Oreos and not have diarrhea after.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

The power to turn into paper

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The ability to pass gas and have it smell like coffee from Starbucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

The power to read minds only when people are thinking of broken pencils in a bowl full of acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

The ability to know if a movie's crappy just by looking at its cover !

thumb_up thumb_down +48

X-ray vision which only allows you to see through clothes that are made of glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

The ability to cause cancer, but only at your own joyful events, like on your birthdays, wedding day, etc.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The power to attract bullets

thumb_up thumb_down +44

The power to focus with extreme power, only on your own focus though... Moral: Inception.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The ability to not fart, but only while you are alone

thumb_up thumb_down +18

the ability to manually control your breathing

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The ability to come up with the idea for a new version of Windows.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

the power to see through cereal box to see if there is a prize inside it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

the power to shoot poop very far out your butt

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The power to see...oh i'm so wasted i forgot what i was going to type!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The ability to throw a boomerang and have it come back to you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

power to be the best theif ever known to man but only if your in the most high tech prison

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The power to have a small penis

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The power to hold your breath while unconscious.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The power to play any Justin Bieber song of your choice out of your butt.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

The power to know the answer to every question you're asked, but forgetting it instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

The power to have an internal monologue voiced by Morgan Freeman.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!