The power to strap a bomb on your chest, walk into a crowded area, and detonate it

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The power of being able to fly, but only on February 30th.

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The ability to throw a boomerang and have it come back to you

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The ability to turn only your car in the direction in which the president of Zambia is looking.

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The power of flight, but also have vertigo. VertigoMan to the resc Aggh!!!! Please someone get me down. OH GOD!!!! HELP!!!!

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The power to smell any mans underwear without getting caught... (works only on straight men)

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The power to sh!t using your mind.

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The power to look through really thin glas without any view obstruction.

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The power to pause and resume time, but you also pause yourself.

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the power to fart terrible gas

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The power to have an internal monologue voiced by Morgan Freeman.

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The power to get foot-boners

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The power to read this text unless you can see it.

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The power to make santa come to your house, but he doesn't have presents to give you.

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The ability to eat Oreos and not have diarrhea after.

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The power to read books really quickly but forget what you just read.

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"man hiding at the ladies room" "woman enters" SURPRIIIIIISEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeAERHG! Ok so now we know my dick fits up your ass... hi my name is... why you crying?

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The ability to walk on water. Unless the water is deeper than 0.000000000001 mm.

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Solar Powered Vampire Abilities

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the power to shoot poop very far out your butt

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The power to make green lights turn red on approach.

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power to be the best theif ever known to man but only if your in the most high tech prison

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the power to predict the future 3 minutes later.

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The power to walk through walls, but get stuck half way!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!