The power to chew ass and kick bubblegum, but be all out of ass!

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Walk on water, swim in land!

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The power to make someone see your smile slightly whiter

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The ability to turn hamsters into pineapples.

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The power to turn a bear into a gopher.

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The power to run at the speed of a human

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the power to give yourself cancer that you can't get rid of

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The power to never be hungry for five minutes after you eat.

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A book on how to solve a paradix

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the power to recognize "woman rights".

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The ability to always be fashionable late

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The power to see every rainbow in double rainbow.

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The ability to sense a crime has been committed, but only after the criminal has already been caught and safely locked away in jail.

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The ability to turn everything to gold; as long as the original material is gold.

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The power to think of a witty comeback 3 days too late.

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The power to die

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The ability to put on a glove that is slightly too large and have your fingers grow to fit the glove.

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the power to permanently change your name to Graham

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The power to: tell your women make a sandwich!

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the power to suddenly become extremely tired when you realise you have a task due

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The abillity to laugh hystericaly at theese superpowers, But only when On the toilet pooping.

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The power to give yourself cancer

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The power to eat multiple things at a time

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The power to be invincible to every thing but fire water tornadoes bullets explosions guns knifed blades swords grenades sticks pointy objects disease infections sicknesses flu illness natural disasters accidents cars busses planes vehicles trucks lightning electricity meteors bombs rockets drugs addiction peer pressure starvation tiredness torture pain monkeys any sort of animal heat radio active waves radiation humans air pollution baseball bats food poisoning and insects.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!