The power to walk on water. But only when it's less than an inch deep.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The power to uncontrollably poop, pee, barf, & sneeze at the same time, indefinitely (can't pause power once started).

thumb_up thumb_down -21

The power to turn anything you touch into old.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

The uncontrollable power to teleport to the places you don't want to be and every time this happens... a random fat guy barfs on you

thumb_up thumb_down -51

The power to be away from the Internet without getting bored.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

The power to become severely depressed and suicidal whenever you feel the slight sensation of happiness.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

The ability to see into the past at variable times between 1 and 30 seconds but be incapable of seeing the present.

thumb_up thumb_down +190

The power to destroy the whole universe by any sudden movement. (Our existence rests on you`re shoulders man, don't even breathe nor blink)

thumb_up thumb_down +88

power to look pretty but only in your mom's eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +52

The power to feel pain while under anesthetics.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

The power to turn gold into stones.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The power to die spontaneously, and have no one notice

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The power to buy jerky on a semi-weekly basis.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The power to fail hard at the catchphra (or whatever its called) simply because you keep answering garbage when it asks "what is the jummiest!" Moral: I work out hard dammit! I want muscles of steel! And Bananasplit contains banana (duh) which just binds fat and makes me look like a bodybuilder... (yes I did look like that and would eat garbage rather than banana, I mean most "family restaurant" foo out there is garbage) "Family restaurant" guide, because moral man loves you: Mc Donalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger King, and I really need fats and proteins to work out as hard as I do... I mean I am running on a uh.. stand still training bicycle thingie... too tired to look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The power to fall apart whenever touched. See Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Smell chick peas from over two miles away

thumb_up thumb_down -34

The power to have a massive nob on your forehead and to attempt to have sex with anything with more then one lump on its chest :D

thumb_up thumb_down -106

The power to summon a lamp... Once.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The power to invent things that have already been invented.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

the power to eat a ridiculous amount of bagels

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The power of love

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The power to throw away and break your wine/blood glass away before yelling HAVE AT THY! At the comment below (below this one duh, you see the other brown box? Yeah that one genius) Moral: Yeah yeah, you dont get it, but its awesome because its a MISERABLE PILE OF SECRETS!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

TyPiNg In LoWeR aNd CaPs To AnNoY oThErS

thumb_up thumb_down -27

The ability to turn hamsters into pineapples.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!