The power to uncontrollably poop, pee, barf, & sneeze at the same time, indefinitely (can't pause power once started).

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The power to travel 60 miles an hour while inside of a vehicle.

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The power to turn anything you touch into old.

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The uncontrollable power to teleport to the places you don't want to be and every time this happens... a random fat guy barfs on you

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The power to be away from the Internet without getting bored.

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The ability to see into the past at variable times between 1 and 30 seconds but be incapable of seeing the present.

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The power to destroy the whole universe by any sudden movement. (Our existence rests on you`re shoulders man, don't even breathe nor blink)

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power to look pretty but only in your mom's eyes

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The power to turn gold into stones.

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The power to die spontaneously, and have no one notice

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The power to buy jerky on a semi-weekly basis.

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The power to fail hard at the catchphra (or whatever its called) simply because you keep answering garbage when it asks "what is the jummiest!" Moral: I work out hard dammit! I want muscles of steel! And Bananasplit contains banana (duh) which just binds fat and makes me look like a bodybuilder... (yes I did look like that and would eat garbage rather than banana, I mean most "family restaurant" foo out there is garbage) "Family restaurant" guide, because moral man loves you: Mc Donalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger King, and I really need fats and proteins to work out as hard as I do... I mean I am running on a uh.. stand still training bicycle thingie... too tired to look it up.

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The power to fall apart whenever touched. See Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls

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The power to have a massive nob on your forehead and to attempt to have sex with anything with more then one lump on its chest :D

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The power to feel pain while under anesthetics.

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The power to summon a lamp... Once.

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The power to invent things that have already been invented.

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the power to eat a ridiculous amount of bagels

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The power of love

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TyPiNg In LoWeR aNd CaPs To AnNoY oThErS

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The ability to turn hamsters into pineapples.

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The power of making your tits smaller

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The power to troll.

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The power to never be hungry for five minutes after you eat.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!