The power to turn into a rolly polly, but only twice a year and for 5 minutes each time

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The power to paint as if you were michelangelo but only if your painting sad clowns eating knives

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The ability to predict what will appear on ReCaptcha, SOLVEmedia, and all that stuff, before you see it.

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Your average Axel entering a Phone Booth and coming out as... MORAL MAN! Moral: Where the damn do you find a Phone booth nowadays?

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The ability to know how someone felt exactly 1 year prior but you don't know why.

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The power to get mad horny instantaneously around children.

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The power to fly one millimeters above the ground.

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The power to wear crocs.

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The power to endure uncontrollable & highly noticeable erections at funerals

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The ability to unbleep swear words on your tv.

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The power to fart rainbows

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the power to fart terrible gas

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The power to Google "Google".

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The power to uncontrollably poop, pee, barf, & sneeze at the same time, indefinitely (can't pause power once started).

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The power to shoot lemons out of your urethra.

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The power to make vegetables horny.

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the power to to be glow in the dark during the day.

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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the power to fly if you are touching the ground

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The Power to defeat anyone only when they are already defeated

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The ability to cross the Do Not Cross tape at crime scenes

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the ability to tell time without a watch

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the power to recognize "woman rights".

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The ability to always be fashionable late

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!