The power to: tell your women make a sandwich!

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The ability to break the fourth wall. Thank you for reading this pointless super power, please like it.

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The power to single handily tear one sheet of toilet paper from the roll

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the power to insta-kill anyone as long as their dead

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The power to sleep if your not awake

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The power to not hear thunder.

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The power to die spontaneously, and have no one notice

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The power to fail hard at the catchphra (or whatever its called) simply because you keep answering garbage when it asks "what is the jummiest!" Moral: I work out hard dammit! I want muscles of steel! And Bananasplit contains banana (duh) which just binds fat and makes me look like a bodybuilder... (yes I did look like that and would eat garbage rather than banana, I mean most "family restaurant" foo out there is garbage) "Family restaurant" guide, because moral man loves you: Mc Donalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger King, and I really need fats and proteins to work out as hard as I do... I mean I am running on a uh.. stand still training bicycle thingie... too tired to look it up.

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The uncontrollable power to teleport to the places you don't want to be and every time this happens... a random fat guy barfs on you

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The power to never be hungry for five minutes after you eat.

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The power to produce up to 20 gummy bears at once through the process of budding

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The power to give yourself cancer

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the ability to know what the F#CK gotsie is. WHAT THE FU-

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SGNM! Super Grammar Nazi Man!

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The ability to never pick up on sarcasm.

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THE POWER OF AUTISM !!!

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The ability to sweat caramel

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The power to stop time, but be stopped with time also.

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The power to throw away and break your wine/blood glass away before yelling HAVE AT THY! At the comment below (below this one duh, you see the other brown box? Yeah that one genius) Moral: Yeah yeah, you dont get it, but its awesome because its a MISERABLE PILE OF SECRETS!

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The power to be instantly transported to Switzerland, naked, whenever you reach orgasm.

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The power to travel forward in time at the speed of normal time.

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The power to see every rainbow in double rainbow.

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the power to smell like shlt shlt.

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The power to make green lights turn red on approach.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!