the power to start a new wave band with a neon Open sign, a single bath salt, and a wet Tibetan ritz cracker.

The power to eat gumbo with a fork.

The power to have any stupid thing you do and experience being automatically uploaded on youtube.

A book on how to solve a paradix

The power throw up hockey pucks every few minutes.

The power to endure uncontrollable & highly noticeable erections at funerals

The power to walk on your eyeballs, but only on sharp objects.

the ability to see into the past

The power to find any object in an I-Spy book, but instantly forget the location of the previously found object.

The power to see through clothes of women 70+.

The power to switch your left pinky toe with your right big toe and vice versa.

The power to attract bullets

The power to turn all of the air into a solid.

The power to die

The power to read the minds of hobos. ( now you know what hobos think about you )

The power to have sex with anyone, but only if they are older than 65

*The power to fall, but only when you trip.

The ability to give yourself any super power, but you cannot use it if it is used.

The power to grow plants, only using your mind

The power to be happy whenever you want, but only at funerals

Black power

The power to always smell like cheep wine.

To have your speed, strength, reflexes and senses heightened to the level of whatever is appropriate in your situation.

The power to slightly accelerate the growth speed of your left toenails.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!