The power to slightly accelerate the growth speed of your left toenails.

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the power to talk to your elbow

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The power to never sleep but still get tired

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The power to control every extinct species but to be unable to revive them

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The power to change the colour of your right index finger

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The ability to turn on lamps through doors when it's bright.

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the power to die at will

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The ability to read a doctor's handwriting

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The power to eat carrot cake, then die 12 seconds

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The power of making your tits smaller

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The power to find treasure, when you try to look for it.

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The ability to get a headache when you do or say something stupid.

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the ability to levitate your keft side of your body

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The power to destroy the whole universe by any sudden movement. (Our existence rests on you`re shoulders man, don't even breathe nor blink)

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the power to read the thoughts of inanimate objects.

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The power to make meringues levitate

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The power to think of a funny power

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The power to look at huge breasts and avoid thinking about it.

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The power to not hear thunder.

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The power to read but only when your using audio read.

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TyPiNg In LoWeR aNd CaPs To AnNoY oThErS

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The power to give super powers to others, but only to people you don't like.

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The power to turn anything you touch into old.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!