captain obvious

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The power to block every twenty third bullet, shot at point blank range.

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The power to predict the past.

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The power to not be able to reach the top shelf.

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To have your speed, strength, reflexes and senses heightened to the level of whatever is appropriate in your situation.

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The power to be a dog, with Herpes, that smells like farts.

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to make water turn blue when you touch it.

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The power to close your eyes and drift off to a state of unconsciousness.

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How 'bout the power to move you? - Wonderboy

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the power to fly but only upward

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The ability to survive bleeding for a week but it forces you to turn into a total bitch .

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The power to eat carrot cake, then die 12 seconds

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The power to remove any fart smell from a room by taking ten deep and loud inhales through your nose (only five for girl farts).

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The power to cough, but only at funerals, and speeches

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Clairvoyance, but only when your mothers having intimacy with your dad.

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The superpower to speak and write a language that only you know.

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The power to fly, but only on the moon

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The power to look into cheese.

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The power to be illiterate when you open a book.

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The power to chew on chicken heads without breaking your teeth.

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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The power to think of hilarious intensely racist jokes, but only at Black Lives Matter protests.

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The ability to dislike on any form of social media, but only if you are looking cross-eyed at your pinky finger while listening to a mashup of Justin Beiber and One Direction.

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The power to fight inanimate objects that pose no threat to you

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!