The Ability To Stop Existing Only When You Already Don't Exist

thumb_up thumb_down +121

the power to know what time is not

thumb_up thumb_down +119

The power to transform into Forever Alone guy and not be able to transform back.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

The power to make apples into pennies one per day.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

the power to see through windows

thumb_up thumb_down +99

The power to switch gender identity

thumb_up thumb_down +71

The power to shapeshift, but only when below ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

The power to kick ass and chew bubblegum but be all out of kicks. "sits down chews bubblegum"

thumb_up thumb_down +63

The power to manage Chelsea FC

thumb_up thumb_down +61

I can talk to fish.... They don't have a lot to say

thumb_up thumb_down +61

To be able to kill a Yak from 47 yards. No more, No less.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

the power to think 0.0000000000000001 microseconds faster than usual

thumb_up thumb_down +57

The power to pee from your eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +53

The power to point at anything you want as long as you can see it.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

the power to tell when someone is in your car

thumb_up thumb_down +43

the power to spontaneously shoot glitter out of your ass

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Ability to suck **** like austin calhoun

thumb_up thumb_down +35

The power to turn into a cat while a dog is watching you.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

The power to fall off a tree, then land in spikes.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The power to kill yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

the power to freeze yourself in time but nothing else and you cannot unfreeze yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q. How many police officers does it take to arrest a mexican [DARREN ROWLAND]? A. 4- 1 too arrest him & the 3 other to hold his oranges!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Being immortal but not being able to eat food and you always feel horrible, but your body heals you every day so you get more pain every day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The ability to see the world from a rock's perspective. Everywhere there is a rock you see what is around it. But rocks don't have eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!