The ability to stop and keep people from sneezing.

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The ability to rape the willing.

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The power to remove any fart smell from a room by taking ten deep and loud inhales through your nose (only five for girl farts).

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The power to be still until moving or being touched.

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The power to go through open windows

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The power to turn your external hearing off, only to replace it with the sound of very, very slow internal dubstep.

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The power to look into cheese.

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The power to think about useless power

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The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

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The power to smell farts nearby

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The power to chew on chicken heads without breaking your teeth.

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The ability to be able to slide down a blade naked using your balls as breaks

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The ability to dislike on any form of social media, but only if you are looking cross-eyed at your pinky finger while listening to a mashup of Justin Beiber and One Direction.

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Eht rewop ot epyt sdrawkcab dna kaeps ti yltneulf ekilnu eht yug ohw tog no eht tsrif egap.

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The power to vote for donald trump #FeelTheBern

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The power to shoot lasers from your eyes when you eyes are closed

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The power to get a boner, but only when you're hugging your dad.

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The ability to create very weak wifi with a 1000000 character password.

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The power to fly, but only downwards

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The power for everyone to believe you, but only if you are telling the truth.

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Th power to be telepathetic

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The power to have a poo at your girlfriend's house and be only 22.2% sure that it will flush

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The power to be bad at everything

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The power to make an awesome school lunch for the kids!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!