The ability to jizz uncontrollably in your pants randomly during the day

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the power to mimic what people are saying if they are dead and underwater

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the ability to solve paradoxes

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The ability to feel pain 1,000 times more acutely than an average human.

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The power to see the present.

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The power to tell time every other second. sometimes.

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the ability to take a fart that other people can actually see.

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The power to make your hair turn green but only if you are holding green hair dye and when you use the power the green hair dye goes away

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The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye

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The power to block bullets with only your pinky toe on your left foot.

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The power to raise one eyebrow and make one person looking at you raise their eyebrow, then one person looking at them raise their eyebrow, and so on.

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the power to be imune to fire but only when is -40ºC

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The power to eat food

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The power to think of a useless superpower, but start typing and forg........ GOD DAMMIT!

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The power to turn any traffic light and crosswalk sign from red to green but only when your eyes are closed.

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The power to understand the purpose of live, and every other world mystery, exactly .5 of a second before you die.

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The power to strap wheels of cheese to your own body without getting tired easily.

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The power to be dead

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The power to turn things in to wood

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The ability to kill someone with your mind. But by doing so, you also die.

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The power to make doughnuts rapidly advance in age

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the power to fly if you are touching the ground

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The power to achieve world peace but only at the expense of your own happiness and the lives of all your friends and family members and everyone will hate you for no reason after doing so.

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The power to like this comment while you can't like any other ones.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!