DIY LOL
Clarksonisms
I AM DISAPPOINT
Objectiface
Parent Failure
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The power to manipulate thermometers but not actually affect the temperature.
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-18
Captain Colorchart - instantly able to choose the right color for any room
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-22
The power to time travel 1 second at a time
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-24
The ability too pass SOPA but not ACTA.
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-28
beeing the dragonborn, when there are no dragons....
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-44
The ability to teleport.... 1 Centimeter from your current location, It also takes 5 hours to be able to teleport again.
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-56
The power to stick huge Cactus`s up you`re ass and spit them out as beautiful flowers.
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+95
The power to be able to see through clothes, but only men over the age of 65.
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+91
The power to turn cancer into aids.
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+61
the power to do CALCULUS for homeless people you run into on the street.
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+55
The ability to teleport from any toilet to any toilet and read minds of anyone in the bathroom all around the world.
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+53
The ability to fly but only under intense gravity
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+51
The power of evolving a cancer cell everytime you blink
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+49
The power to walk on water. But only when it's less than an inch deep.
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+43
The Power To Poop on Command.
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+39
The power to walk on water, but only if it contains exactly 0.25 ppm of Aluminum.
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+33
The power to make rain stop, only on sunny days.
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+29
THe power to whistle from your butthole but any time you do this your penis shrinks
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+27
The power to write a country song
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+25
The power to ?-1.
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+25
the power to dye your hair green but only if you are holding green hair dy and one you use it the green hair dye that you are holding goes away
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+23
The power to "dislike" things on Facebook.
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+19
You can send your mind and memories into your past self, but it doesn't work if you have any regrets or want to do things better.
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+17
the power to see moving objects farther than they actually are.
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+3
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Pointless Super Powers
A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!