- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to hear people's thoughts when you fap

The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

Vanilla scented blood

The power to touch your toes

The power to obey gravity

the power to sneeze whenever you want

The ability to fly 1/2 mm above ground, and only on dry land... no water walking

The power to ignore useful information

The power to wait for the moment... TO THE NEXT WAITING MOMENT! And then the wait for the moment... FOR THE NEXT WAITING MOMENT

The ability to melt ice slower than it would usually melt

the power to stop masturbating every day

the power to have super strength but only wile you are sleeping,

the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

The power to shrink your private parts.

The ability to lift small objects with your mind, but only if you are touching them.

The power to turn Justin Bieber into a cat and kill him 9 times

Have god like powers but only on 30 of february

All of Superman's powers except instead of Kryptonite your weakness is water

The power to transform into a bucket of water.

the power to shoot fireballs.....only when your under water

The power to shoot webs, but only out of your ass

the power to poo out of your eyeballs and they burn when you do it

The ability to give yourself any super power, but you cannot use it if it is used.

the power to eat bread

Pointless Super Powers