- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

the power to jizz money

The power to fall in love reptiles

The ability too shit out calculators every 10 seconds.

The power to walk over crisp packets 25% more quietly than the average person

The power to make money disappear.

The power to jump several thousand feet in the air, without the power to survive the impact of landing

The power to find this website and submit a pointless superpower.

The power to have your entire body totally frictionless. Except for your nipples. They have a drag coefficient of around 5 parachutes.

The power to become mentally retarded only when you get an erection.

The ability to teleport a maximum of two inches.

The ability to pirate every song you want without getting caught. However, they can only be Justin Bieber songs

The power to be invincible......... only when you are not in danger or harm.

The power to give yourself the most intense orgasm of all time at will, but it only lasts for a millisecond.

The power to break bones at will.

The abilty to give yourself 0 subscribers on youtube.

The power to knock yourself unconscious

Vanilla scented blood

The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

The power to eat three times a day.

The ability to avoid work when connected to the internet. Thanks, by the way.

The power to survive underwater, while holding your breath.

The power to hear people's thoughts when you fap

The power to obey gravity

The power to talk to animals and plants, but only to have really boring conversations with them.

Pointless Super Powers