the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

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The power to run like Nicolas Cage.

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teleport to the place where you stand

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the power to poop dogs without fur.

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The power to walk 1% faster.

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The power to enlarge your penis to any size, but only you can see it.

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the power to turn everything you touch into gold......deja vu?

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The power to shoot webs, but only out of your ass

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you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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the power to stare at pit bulls in the eyes and imitate them

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The power to instantly kill anyone you start to love

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The ability to be born, live for about 75 years and then die.

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The ability to know all the cheats/hacks for Half-Life 3.

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The power to transform into a bucket of water.

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The power to give yourself a migraine at will.

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the power to burn your school down from napalm farts.

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The power to think of a good super power right now.

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the power to become a duck but not be able to quack

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The power to single handily tear one sheet of toilet paper from the roll

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The power to turn into a magikarp

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The power to turn into a lamp once.

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The power to be Rosie O'Donnell.

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the power to be immortal, but only temporally

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The power to have perfect vision, but only in pitch black darkness

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!