The power to be Obama when he's not president anymore

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THE POWER TO BE INVISIBLE WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING...

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The power to fly at 0.00000000000000001mm off of the ground at a speed of 1 mile per hour whenever you desperately need the toilet.

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The power to think of pointless powers.

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The power to turn everything you touch into cheese

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The power to see women naked, but only when they're your friend's mom.

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The power to make money disappear.

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The power to use a ridiculous signature that kills any chance of receving green thumbs. Moral: What you talking bout foo?

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The power to turn your navel upside down

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the ability to turn into justin bieber, but they can only say i like you very much

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The power to breathe but only when your dead uncle breathes

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The power to digest corn.

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The power to smell feces from a mile away.

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The ability to pirate every song you want without getting caught. However, they can only be Justin Bieber songs

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The power to be alone

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The power to teleport yourself into space without a spacesuit on

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The power to have a godlike super human strength but it only activates during a REM sleep cycle.

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The power to grow a mustache anywhere but on your face

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The power to... We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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The ability to fall into 1cm cubed pieces when startled. No ability to pull yourself together, or move while in cubes. Parts must be reassembled correctly to re-connect.

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The power to give yourself the most intense orgasm of all time at will, but it only lasts for a millisecond.

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The power to make Q-Tips rain from the sky every month

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The power to clone yourself, except all your clones become Catholic priests. Moral: "Mommy! It was HE who touched me!"

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Vanilla scented blood

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!