the power to remotely jizz in someone's sock.

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the power to be Justin bieber

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The power to not see anything

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The power of self-propelled flight, but only when you're the President of the United States.

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The ability to make any amount of money appear in your wallet. The money is in the form of the Neptunarian Dollar, which has no value anywhere on Earth.

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TREE POWERS ACTIVATE

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the power to make sounds by vibrating your vocal cords.

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The power to take my legs off the floor while in a sitting position.

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the power to die on the spot

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the ability to give a potato an orgasm

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the power to see 3 seconds into the past.

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The power to occasionally mistake your hand for a bear.

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The power to turn freshwater into saltwater

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The power to block your own powers

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The power to move 1 minute forward in time every 60 seconds.

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the power uncontrollably explode expensive cars

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The ability to be completely bullet-proof as long as a bullet never hits you.

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the power to turn wine into water.

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the power to hurl apples at force but only when you have drunk 20 litres of water in one go

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The power to pee while standing up

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thw power to not feel anything during sex unless you dont like the sex (ie rape, ugly fat pearson)

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The power to resurrect Hitler at will, will only work if you are Jewish.

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The power to be Chuck Norris

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The power to communicate with dust bunnies.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!