the power to disappear up your own asshole

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The power to have a very keen sense of smell 24/7 but only when a fart is present

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The power to sharpen a pen

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The power of being able to see 1 day into the past

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the power to get sick

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The power to grow more genitals.

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The power to piss as if you were in zero gravity and leave your big piss ball floating in the bathroom.

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The power to have an internal monologue voiced by Morgan Freeman.

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The power to discern the breed of a cat by the taste of its poop.

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the power to walk on land.

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The ability to turn into a melting crayon for $20

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The power to hear in the dark.

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The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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You can hear what people think ...in sign language.

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The power to sit for extended periods of time in front of the computer doing pointless things. The person who is reading this has that pointless superpower otherwise he would be doing something productive.

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The power to do a wheelie on. Unicycle

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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the power to create a meme

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the power to time travel to the present

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The power to see through glass walls.

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The power to predict the present

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The power to remember the funniest thing in the world and have a full on laughing fit, as long as you are at a funeral.

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The power to magically generate drugs in your pockets, but only while being arrested or in a police station.

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the ability to get the chills when someone close to you has an erection.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!