The power to teleport......one nanometer every million years

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The power to eat food a little faster. So when you are done you have to just stay there for 5 more minutes for everybody to finish

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the power to disappear up your own asshole

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The power to not have a superpower

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the power to stare at pit bulls in the eyes and imitate them

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The ability to control dairy products

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The power of becoming sick when you need it.

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The power of having the answer to every possible question, but also to have no way of describing said answers!

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The power to give yourself a migraine at will.

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The power to teleport yourself anywhere you want except for your major organs.

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BULLET ATTRACTION.

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the power to burn your school down from napalm farts.

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The power of superman while never being able to leave Krypton.

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the power to walk on land.

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The power to become Santa Clause, but only on the fourth of July.

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The ability to spit mouthwash

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The power to lose your voice when you yell a lot.

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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The power to hear in the dark.

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the ability to take an apple core out of the bin at will

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The power to turn into a lamp once.

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The power to talk to plants but only when they have mean things to say.

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the power to defecate while standing up...

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the power to be immortal, but only temporally

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!