The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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The ability to walk on your hands because your feet have nails in them.

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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The power to control the weather, but only in space

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The power to be invulnerable while sleeping

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To have the power of hindsight, which will allow you to see what you should have done previously or what other people should have done

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The power to make muffins appear out of nowhere.

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The power to die after life has left you old and decrepit.

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the power to fly, but only when you are in a plane that is already flying. inflight flight

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The power to sing like Justin Beiber.

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The power to cook pop tarts really fast

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The power to drink clean water (because i think dirty water is ewwy)

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The power to find gold in your nose but only when you pick it in front of others

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The power to talk without a tongue

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The abilitie to tell whether or not the light on a fridge is on or off...

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The power to lick anything except pussy.

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Be invincible...but only when you're NOT in danger.

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The ability to teleport 1 Planck length in any direction you want

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the power to make my 8==D go 8=D 8===D 8=D 8===D.

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The power to ejaculate out of your ears once daily

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To the comment below: You wont get a chance to miss me mortal... Moral: The color of envy... you wish you could be like me... everyone of you, yet some of you got the balls/pussies to prove it! For the people! For the freedom of speech! For courage and strength! For balls of steel! For the ladies... and most importantly... because I f*cking want to! NOW AND FOREVER! I AM MORAL MAN!

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the power to remotely jizz in someone's sock.

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The ability to make any amount of money appear in your wallet. The money is in the form of the Neptunarian Dollar, which has no value anywhere on Earth.

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the power to fail at life

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!