The power to get rid of all advertisements, but only when your eyes are closed.

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The power to predict last week's lottery numbers

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The power to chew with your tongue

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the power to time travel to the present

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Having Wolverine’s ability to healing from any damage, but still healing at a normal human rate of recovery.

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The power to make remotes invisible

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the power to fly, but only when you are in a plane that is already flying. inflight flight

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The power to smell a fart from a 500 mile radius.

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The power to cook pop tarts really fast

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The power to state the obvious at will.

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The ability to recall lyrics of particularly terrible music with perfect accuracy.

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The power to be the best video game player ever but you have squeakers follow you everywhere calling you a hacker and saying there going to report you

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the power to pee for longer then a normal person

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The power to autocorrect your mom.

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The power to level up on a game which you can't level up on.

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The power to talk without a tongue

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The power to lick anything except pussy.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The ability to walk slower than everyone else

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To the comment below: You wont get a chance to miss me mortal... Moral: The color of envy... you wish you could be like me... everyone of you, yet some of you got the balls/pussies to prove it! For the people! For the freedom of speech! For courage and strength! For balls of steel! For the ladies... and most importantly... because I f*cking want to! NOW AND FOREVER! I AM MORAL MAN!

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the power to remotely jizz in someone's sock.

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the power to be Justin bieber

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The power of self-propelled flight, but only when you're the President of the United States.

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The power to know the word for potato in every human language... including binary (011100000110111101110100011000010111010001101111)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!