Acid tears.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

Astral Projection. Distance: .3mm

thumb_up thumb_down +91

The power to open jam jar lids, however stuck they are.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to become sick only to spread it to your enemy but you can't stop being sick until you have treatment.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The power to jizz mango chutney

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The power to be immortal until the moment that you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The power to produce up to 20 gummy bears at once through the process of budding

thumb_up thumb_down +83

The power to magically summon a knife at a gunfight. Moral: "A knife in a gunfight is pretty good when the guns run out of ammo"

thumb_up thumb_down +81

The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

The power to read terms and conditions

thumb_up thumb_down +79

The ability to metamorphose into any kind of cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +79

The power to speak any language except the language of your people.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

The power to be gangsta, only in front of true gangsta's.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

The power to do control the atmosphere, but only in space.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

The power is to think MEMEZ are so nonsence, Even if you ever kissed an girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

The ability to have all your dreams be nightmares that you remember vividly.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

The power to control disabled people with your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

The power to see through glass walls.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

The power to hurt your enemies but feel their pain

thumb_up thumb_down +69

The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

The ability to look directly at the sun without damaging your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

the power to shoot what your looking at but only when your looking at watermelons

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!