The power to touch MC Hammer.

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The power to shit out toilet paper.

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the power to SHUT UP ALREADY!

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The power to display emotions at will

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The power to be stupid reading this.

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The power to heal yourself when your not hurt

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The power of turning to stone everyone who says to you "will u fancy a slightly racist T-shirt?"

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The power to be super jewish

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The power to never be hungry for five minutes after you eat.

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The power to instant nose-bleed, but not be able to stop it.

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The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

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The power to be a common person

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the power of running at superspeed, whenever you are sat down

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The power to time-travel to the moment you die.

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The power to turn trollface by yelling "TROLLFACE ACTIVATE!" You can turn human-face again by yelling "XYGNEFAGINTHYCHRSICXAIOXJIEHJFEIHFIGHEÅÆELFKEÆKFÆEFKEÆAKFÆEAFKÆAFKEÆAFKOÆEFOKEÆFKAÆEA" For a year in exact correct spelling/pronunciation.

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The ability to turn wine into water...

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The power to live.

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The ability to go blind every time you open your eyes

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The power to make a woman be quiet but only during sex.

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The power to used any power i want when you're asleep

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The power to transform yourself into a perfect copy of your mother.

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the ability to produce petrol from your ankles but only when you're on fire.

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the power to read your own mind the power of 75% levitation the power of turning into a juicy pork chop in the presence of a lion the power to believe it is butter the power to turn into a blender once and never change back the power to cry acid the power of turning highly visable while trying to sneak the power to speak, sneeze and cough really loudly and annoyingly the power to teleport half of your body the power to age extremely fast the power to have the patience to write this the power to read all of these d pwer 2 rite stupeedlee the power to thumbs down this (it also makes you look stupid) the power to only speek in sarcasm the power to see the past (not the future) emit eht lla sdrawkcab etirw ot rewop eht

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The power to travel back and forth in time by pressing your left elbow against your right armpit. It really works! Try it!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!