The power to communicate with applesauce.

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The power to implode when you have pee and you can't stop

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The power to turn back the clock at will. Not time, just clocks.

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Supreme pre-mature ejaculation.

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The power to stand up and do what's right, save people, restore order, preserve life, maintain balance and create peace but the lack of motivation to do so.

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The power to grow your fingernails at 1.5% times the average speed, provided you contribute three hours a day to meditation.

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The power to see your reflection with The Mirror

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The power to make Macs appear instantly, but be unable to left-click on them.

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The power to fly 3 inches.

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the power to spit long distances at inconvenient times

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The power to make clean socks dirty.

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the power to write about pointless super powers in universes that nothing exists.

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The power to make your boss s**t his pants during staff meetings

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The power to have your toe nails and fingernails be bulletproof.

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The power to breathe oxygen.

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The power to see through things but you can't turn it off once turned on.

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the power to have access to unlimited porn but your parents never leave the room

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The power to die.

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The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip.

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The power to fart on a zebra when you are next to a zebra and have to fart.

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The power to become retarded but your so stupid you forget how to turn it off

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The power to turn on your tv with your mind as long as the remote is in your hand and has batteries.

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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the power to be able to run long distances without getting tired

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!