The power to achieve 98% opacity

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the power to fly but only about 5 feet above the grove, and only after you fart

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the ability to run as fast as you want but never be able to slow down...

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The power to know exactly how events would have turned out, had the last event gone differently

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the ability to manually control your breathing

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the power to tolerate alex simpson

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The ability to throw a boomerang and have it come back to you

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The power to experience hair loss at accelerated rate.

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The power to throw a Boomerang and it always hit your head.

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The ability to go forward in time at will.

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the power to be invisible when sleep.

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the power to teleport anywhere and see anything but every time to teleport there's 75% chance you'll die

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The power to change TV channels once a day but only on cooking programs between 9:00AM and 9:30AM

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The power to find something that isn't in the last place you look.

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Being able to not go to the bathroom...when you have to!

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The power to turn brass into gold, but only when the brass is made of gold.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The ability to be Edward Cullen

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Hnavig the alibtiy to raed tihs.

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The power to heal yourself but only damage you inflict on yourself.

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Having a bullet-proof skeleton.

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The ability to run... AT THE SPEED OF MAN

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The power to be the best video game player ever but you have squeakers follow you everywhere calling you a hacker and saying there going to report you

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The power to make cats burp.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!