the power to go on this website

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The power to f*ck yourself

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The power to understand the purpose of life, and every other world mystery, exactly .5 of a second before you die.

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Being able to create duplicates of yourself, however you must give birth to these duplicates out of your anus (incredibly painful and its highly likely that you will pass out from the pain). And to disappear they must claw their way back up.

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the power to make the imaginary axix the best thinkers ever

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the power to see into the present.

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To have the ability to trip over your own "meat curtains" at will and make it look graceful... somehow.

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The power to turn left while actually being right about right being left so you end up heading upways down the street and confuse the shit out of people. Moral: But will it blend?

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The power to walk on lava but you are not resistant to it

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The ability to spit in random obscure crayola colors.

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The power to have super speed for 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 milliseconds a century

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The power to change your emotions

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The power to see when people fart.

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The power to live until you die.

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The power to fly 2mm above the ground

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The ability to explode upon contact with glass.

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The ability to become the most influential person within the borders of Idaho

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The power to be bullet proof (only works on bullets are thrown at you and not fired from a gun)

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the power to feel the emotions of other people, that are severely depressed.

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The power to levitate birds with your mind.

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The power to drive any Lamborghini or other shit expensive car you want. You still need to get a car like that though...

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The useless power to write about useless powers...

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The power to commit genocide, but only on things you love.

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The power to call any phone number in the world, but only when using a phone owned by someone you don't know.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!