The power to speed up wallmart lines; only if your're not in it.

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The power to get hurt every other hour

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The power to summon a Genie lamp, that if rubbed allows you to wish for 3 pointless superpowers.

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The power of Being stupid

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the power to add .1 mile to the odometer of nearby vehicles

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Giving a shit about someone's bull shit

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The power to be Helen Keller at will.

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The power to run at the slowest speed possible.

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The ability to know if there's an afterlife, but only after you've died

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Power to stop a moving oslating fan from moving.

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the power to not own a spacial power!!

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The power to be invincible everywhere but your face

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the power to hear a dog whistle

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The power to transform into a vegetable, but only one way

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The power to repel water when you're thirsty.

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The power to not be affected by bullets unless you are shot with one by a gun

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The power to shorten your lifespan by 10 seconds.

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The power to inhale beverages through your genitals.

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The power to have the money to buy anything in the world, however you only have enough money to pay for the price of the object and not the taxes.

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the power to be as dumb as george bush and as useless as barrak obama

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The ability to read any language and understand it perfectly but only in pitch black darkness.

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The ability to watch an episode of 60 minutes in 59 minutes

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The power to take your groceries from your car to your house in two trips or less.

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The power to realize that your personality is like a shithole.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!