The power to fap 10x as fast as an elephant.

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The power to levitate birds while they are flying....

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the power to at will swap your hands and feet around... you fall over every time

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The power of being invincible after getting blown to the sun and killed by it while your balls are being bit by a crock

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The power to change your reflection in a mirror, but only you have the power to see said altered reflection.

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the power make the left half of your body invisible.

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The power of Being stupid

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the power to add .1 mile to the odometer of nearby vehicles

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The power to laugh while laughing.

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The power to stop time for 1 second

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The power to run at the slowest speed possible.

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The power to die uncontrollably and never come back or do anything else.

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the power to shoot superman

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the power to regenerate but only if your not hurt in any way

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The power to make mediocre cabbage soup.

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The power to swallow chewed up food.

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Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Waiter: I'm terribly sorry sir, please let us replace your soup with a more satisfactory one which is hygienic, and does not contain a dead organism. Customer: Thanks.

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the owe to sneeze with your eyes open

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Ability to shit nuclear waste

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The ability to orgasm every time you speak.

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the power to be as dumb as george bush and as useless as barrak obama

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the power to always hug people

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the power to freeze time by 10 seconds but in the process freeze yourself too - mleo1

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The power to take your groceries from your car to your house in two trips or less.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!