The power to teleport to the center of the Earth.

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The power of not having to fill out chapchas

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The power to make 3.74% of your body a pale green colour.

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the power to lift 5 tonnes above your head, but only for 0.1 seconds

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the power to have a power.

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The power to be a toilet but you can´t transform back again for the hole eternity and you still keep your sense of smell and taste.

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power to breath underwater but only when you're dry

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the power to kill yourself

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The power to blink 1% faster than normal.

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The power to eavesdrop on your best friend from anywhere in the world when he's sleeping.

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Teleporting to Mexico

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The power to seduce any woman... that weighs over 300 pounds.

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The power to stop reading this. Or the power to live forever but only if you never ate BACON !

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The ability to turn your semen into spiders.

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The power to have horrible spelling while trying to write an ad for the pointless superpowers app.

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The power of believing you have a real power when you don't (which doesn't make you have a power at all, and consequently, turns into a paradox). Self-paradox man!

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the power to shit liquidly

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the power to youtube poop

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The power to read your own mind!

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The power to understand this: Alucard: Father! I will stand against you! Dracula: Then it is time to kill your weak human side and join me in REMAKING THIS WORLD! (battle ensues Dracula takes a hell of a beating) Dracula: AAAAAAAARGHHHHHH! Heh... sarcasm... What is a man... if he gains the world, but loses his soul... limps away... Mark 8:36 I believe... Alucard: Father! I did not wish for you to die! Dracula: Uh I lost a sole, and the world is mine, already... Alucard: Well then lets keep fighting. Moral: Richter: YOU STEAL MENS SOLES! Dracula: The same could be said about every shoe shopper... Me: You are not gonna get this one, but if Dracula STEAL MENS SOULS! Then why would he have a soul to begin with? Its confusing... and the power to understand this is meaningless... BUT ENOUGH TALK YOU MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS! HAVE AT THY!

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The ability to eat your enemies and get their powers only when your are starving to death.

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The power to remember memories that you have forgotten, but only for 82 milliseconds, and then you forget them again.

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the power to taste your own spit

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The power to turn any dollar bill (1's, 5's, 10's etc.) and turn it into the amount of pennies equivalent to the bill.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!